Tainted by Love
by LostSeraph23
Summary: Love can be the sweetest of pleasures or the deadliest of sins. Killua Zoldyck has never truly known love outside of the obsessive & abusive love his family as shown him. When he finally finds love can he hold onto it? Or the better question is: Are you even be allowed to love in a family of assassins?
1. Can

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Killua. I just own my OCs and my ideas for this story.**_

I fell for her the first time she said my name.

I've loved her ever since I first met her.

She's the light that came into this dark existence that I call my life.

Every time she smiles at me, I feel my heart skip a beat.

I don't deserve her; she's too pure, too innocent for me. But...

But I can't get rid of my feelings for her. Light calls to darkness just as darkness calls to light.

I need her even though I don't deserve her.

She's my angel from heaven.

I love you, Mia.

"My lil' twilight angel."-Killua's thoughts about Miya

1. Can't Stop Thinking of Her

*Killua's POV*

It's a typical night at Karamishi High school-your typical Japanese elementary to high school made of marble black stone and is kinda a mixture of a Japanese school building and Gothic castle in structure from the inside out-but I'm once again tossing and turning in my sleep-my silverish white hair falling into my eyes and covering a few parts of my face. I clench the pure-white sheets on my king-sized bed tightly as sweat drips down my neck like a waterfall of perspiration. I groan softly and continue to thrash around helplessly on my bed all the while trying with all my strength to get rid of the images robbing me of my peaceful sleep-yet my body is restless and my mind is full of overwhelmingly perverted thoughts revolving around another student in the school. A young girl named Miya Hirayuki. If I'm being completely honest with myself, then I'll admit that she's been haunting my dreams ever since the first day we met back when we were twelve years old.

"Damn it! Why can't I stop thinking about her? Ever since that incident...it's been a whole 2 weeks now. Ugh when will it all end?" I softly curse to the darkness-hating the fact that I can't get one little girl out of my mind nor relieve myself of my never-ending thrashing episodes that continue to bother me. The images in my mind resume tormenting me as I revisit the events of the past 2 weeks in my sleep.

**~Flashback~**

**"Okay class, today has been declared a free day for all of you. After all, you guys deserve a rest after this long and stressful exam week. So please do enjoy yourselves. But I must warn you, no form of exploit conduct will be allowed on school grounds. Your all dismissed."****Nabiki-sensei, a slightly chubby figured, blonde-haired and green-eyed man in his early thirties tells his twenty-five seated students happily, watching as they all soak in the good news he's just given them. Each of the kids were dressed in their uniforms, although a bit untidily of course but still in full gear nonetheless. The girls are all wearing black and silver plaid thigh-length skirts****—****the silver decorated the sides of their skirts****—****a long (1st and 2nd years) or short-sleeved (3rd and 4th years) black shirt with their school logo on it****—****a dragon wrapped around a cross through a gothic heart****—****written in silver stitching and gray (first year students but the boys wore short socks), white (second year), black (third year), dark-blue (fourth year) knee high socks and ankle-high black boots and sneakers or black dress shoes for the boys. The guys were all dressed in the same shirts and socks as the girls but their school logo was on their right pants' leg and was written in red stitching. In addition to the school's logo on their uniforms, the kids all had some kind of symbol and a weather attitude on the back of their school jackets—black long-sleeved rose cuff-linked coats with either red or silver lining on them. Their symbol was based on not only what grade they were in but also what element they controlled and their personality. The first year kids: phases of the moon in the set of three circlets. Second year kids: an animal surrounded by a vine-like border. Third year kids: a type of flower or mythical beast over some kind of key or ancient relic. And fourth year students: a trinity-like wreath of three snakes or a scale. Indeed their school uniforms weren't what most people would expect elementary to high school students to wear but what could you do except live it?**

**Killua's eyes scanned the room with mild interest, taking in the usual suspects****—****numerous kids all dressed in the school's uniforms of red and black or silver and black****—****chatting happily amongst themselves in their seats or on top of their desks. Several first year girls noticed that Killua was looking in their direction and they began to giggle, thinking that he was trying to flirt with them****—****when in reality, he could've cared less what they were doing or what they thought of him. In order to avoid saying something rude to the girls****—****regardless of the fact that their feelings were meaningless to him****—****he turned his attention towards his comic book and acted as if nothing was bothering him. The one thing he hated about going to Karamishi High****—****besides the nine hour school day which was set from 8am-3pm****—****were the uniforms. True the school uniforms the students were forced to wear while on school campus weren't hideous or anything but they were restraining. Almost instantly everyone jumps out of their seats****—****cheers of joy, high-fives and conversations of summer vacation plans filling the room****—****as the shock of their teacher's words finally settled in. Yet from the non-talkative students such as Mizuki Fujiwara and Akira Kururugi, a mere smile or nod of the head was given to show that they were grateful for the well-deserved free day from school. But the only exception to this was a certain silver-haired assassin slumped in his seat, reading his Dragon Ball Z comic as if nothing had happened at all. If there was one word to describe him, it'd be troublemaker. He rarely said much of anything to anyone and when he did, it was always something rude or insulting. Not to mention, he pulled tons of pranks and vandalized school property on a daily basis. At least that's how most people thought he acted. If only they knew the truth.**

**"Yes, now we can get out of here."****A feminine yet quiet voice said coolly while sitting back in her seat**—**her arms resting behind her head and her feet stretched out under her seat****—****overjoyed by the free school day. There was only one person in the whole school that cheerful yet calm voice could only belong to****…****Miya Hirayuki.**

**Upon close observation, Miya was a stunning young woman of 5'2" with skin the color of roasted chestnuts**—**a faint reddish-brown color**—**eyes as dark as the earth's soil, hair the color of red autumn leaves and the figure of a coke bottle****—****slightly slender in the arms, legs, and upper body but definitely curvaceous everywhere else****—****and not to mention Mizuki and Kaoru Akizuki's best friend. Her dark eyes were beaming with joy as she turns towards her two best friends, who were sitting in the two desks beside her. ****"Mizu-chan, Ka-chan, you guys wanna go to Remington Central with me? We can go shopping at Hot Topic or something?" ****She asks the two girls excitedly as she gives them her normal warm-hearted smile**—**her small heart-shaped face and elfin little ears giving her a youthful by no means was the young redhead perfect. In fact, the one thing she sucked at besides science was trying not to engage in fights with Killua. I mean the two of them were hardly ever seen not trying to kill each other when they both pissed off that is. Not to mention they were both stubborn as hell and they hardly ever stopped fighting once they got started. And a lot of the time it was over the silliest of things: the last chocolate malt ball, how could out skateboard who? Etc. **

**Kaoru Akizuki smiles at her best friend whole-heartedly and nods her head****—****her chin-length rich-chocolate bangs falling into her matching depthless hazel-brown eyes while the rest of her hair fell down her cheeks in curly strands****—****as she lightly pats Miya's head as if she's a child and then turns to face their more antisocial childhood friend Mizuki****—****her usual frown set upon her lips.**

**"Not a bad idea Miya. Actually I was just thinking about that myself. What about you, Mizu-chi? You wanna hang with us for a bit?" ****Kaoru asks the other girl teasingly**—**a Cheshire cat grin setting on her face as she uses her old nickname for Mizuki, who in turn gives her a half-hearted death glare as if daring her to repeat the name again and not be afraid to face the consequences. Kaoru silently laughs at her friend's unspoken threat****—****never one to take her seriously due to the fact that Mizuki rarely hits anyone unless she's annoyed with them, which is often due to her hatred of people crowding around her****—****to end her life.**

**Mizuki glances at Miya momentarily, her eyes showcasing a faint hint of amusement in them.****"I suppose it wouldn't be too much of a hassle. Plus after all that hard work, it would be a good way to relieve stress." ****She replies dryly before staring at her boyfriend with a blank look on her face****—****the slight darkened peach colored skin of her barely concealed collarbone as well as the thin silver chain around her neck catching the lamp light above them**. **Akira stares back at her with the same cold and almost uncaring look in his eyes as she does and automatically, their four best friends know what's going on between the two.**

**As they both nod their heads in silent agreement****—****their eyes locked only on each other and nothing else****—****the four others in their little group all watch them out of the corner of their eyes, noticing that without looking at them that their no doubt communicating to each other without words, a typical thing for all of them. A few minutes later, Miya than leans her head back****—****her ponytails as well as the top of her head, resting on the flat, smooth surface of the desks behind her****—****as she looks back at the trio sitting at their classroom's back row, calmly smiling at all three of them. Yet no one except her four companions notice that her eyes are locked on Killua, taking in how well he has developed into a young man over the past four years she's known him. But that wasn't the only thing she had noticed about him as time had passed. If she was being truthful with herself, she wasn't just looking at the unruly spiky hair****—****the sheen of it, such a rich silverish-white like the stars in the night sky and scattered across it in different directions like porcupine quills****—****that was matted on top of his head, or his eyes****—****two twin orbs of color, a mysterious and entrancing royal-blue over black endless pupils****—****that left her speechless for words. No she was also looking at his skin which was the color of alabaster marble and the lean yet strong muscles that sculptured his chest, shoulders and upper torso into utter perfection as well as the maturity of near adulthood in his face and hands.**

_**Hands that I want to caress my cheeks in a gentle almost loving manner. Lips that I wish would assault mine and leave me begging for more. More of him. Uh-oh. Don't go there Miya. He's your friend not a shiny new toy you've been dying to play with baka.**_**The young woman thought to herself as she gave a ferocious shake of her head, mentally berating herself for thinking such hazardous thoughts about her fellow classmate. But she couldn't help it. Her thoughts were clear and it was obvious who they were revolved around too. Forcing a blush to disappear from her face, Miya asks the three boys cheerfully; hoping none of them noticed the intense way she had been staring at Killua. But of course, Akira and Kenshin Takashima both noticed the way Miya had stared at their best friend****—****the deep longing and broken expression crossing her face****—****and they both silently gave her understanding looks, telling her they knew how she felt about their otherwise oblivious companion.**

**"Hey Ken-kun, Akira-kun, Killua-kun, you guys wanna come with us. Although I highly doubt a certain silverfish will say yes." ****Miya stated in a bitter tone while sticking out her tongue at Killua, hoping to get some kind of reaction out of him****, all the while ****knowing that he loathed being called the childish nickname due to his naturally unkempt silver-white hair. She hated the way Killua always declined her offers to spend time with the gang while Kenshin and Akira usually said yes even if it was only because Mizuki asked him to and because Kenshin simply enjoyed hanging out with everyone. But nope, not Killua. Not the lone wolf, who preferred to be by himself most of the time and never let anyone near him except of course his two best friends. And just as she predicted he would, Killua gave her a death glare****—****his eyes nearly shifting from their normal royal-blue to an angry shade of pitch-black. ****Miya acted as if she hadn't even noticed Killua glaring at her and resumed her earlier tasks.**

**As Miya stared at her four best friends, she couldn't help but think Kenshin and Kaoru were two halves of the same coin and yet they were also each other's complete opposite. Both of them were tan complexioned but while Kaoru was dark haired and light eyed with a slender frame and oval-shaped face, Kenshin was light haired, having long, shoulder-length light-blue hair and dark eyed because of his dark amethyst-purple eyes with the body of a faintly chubby panther****—****slim yet still kinda plump in the stomach for his age with chipmunk dimples****. Kaoru, despite her appearance and sometimes strict demeanor wasn't weak when it came to fighting. True she wasn't as curvaceous in the hips and thighs as Miya or as quick-minded Mizuki, but she was attractive and smart none the least. Several boys asking her out on a daily basis was proof enough****…****but then again the boys in her class would ask out any girl they thought was hot. A faint smile crept its way upon Miya's lips as she stared at the two lovers, who had been together for two years now. **

_**Akira and Mizuki are a different story altogether though.**_**Miya ****thought to herself with a light chuckle. Indeed they were quite a pair. Mizuki with her elbow-length hair the color of onyx pearls, cold cranberry-red eyes, and athletic figure clashed with Akira's curly collar-length auburn-red hair, ash-grey eyes and slightly muscular build. None of their friends ever thought the two would end up together in the beginning. Heck it was downright impossible to see the two together as a couple because of how they use to act towards each other. This assumption was due to the fact that when the gang had all first met four years ago, all Mizuki and Akira ever did was fight and argue. And every single time one of their little fights occurred, all it did was leave Kaoru and Kenshin with the job of having to break up their fights. Killua and Miya, on the other hand could only just stand there****—****sighing and shaking their heads at their friends' senseless need for violence even if it was of a competitive nature. Yet even back then, Miya knew the two suited each other. ****It still amazed her that they had also been going out for the past two years and surprisingly enough their parents had been completely okay with them being together as long as they took responsibility for their actions, which basically translated into: if you have sex wear protection etc. **

**A faint twinge of jealousy settled into Miya's stomach but she quickly ignored it. The reason for it was simple: Mizuki and Akira, despite being the shortest members of their group****—****second only to Miya in height****—****were both a year older then herself, Kaoru, Kenshin and Killua who were all sixteen. This loosely meant, their age made up for their friends being taller than them. Miya found her attention refocusing back on Killua, quietly wondering to herself how she'd ever ended up becoming friends with him****...****if that's what they even were anyway.**

**Kenshin turned to face Killua****—****his eyes filled with concern for his best friend****—****having noticed the way Miya had constantly been staring at him****—****no doubt that she was waiting on the boys to answer her question about joining them for the short shopping trip. Killua was still reading his comic in the same mindless position just as he had earlier, completely ignoring the taller boy's concerned gaze upon him. To be more specific, he was purposely ignoring him so that way his attention wouldn't lock on the young woman with her head still resting against the back of their desks****—****the scent of honey and vanilla from her hair that filled the air, tickling his nose****—****or rather the middle desk to exact. _His desk. _**

**He simply kept his mouth shut, all the while hearing Kenshin say to him through his thoughts****—****the taller boy nearly shouting at him through telekinesis.**_**"Damn it Killua, just say yes for once. For heaven's sake you've kept your true feelings for her a secret for going on four years now! Must you continue to be cold and arrogant? JUST SAY YES! SAY YES!'**_

**Finally after what seemed like an eternity, Killua spoke, his expression dull and uncaring aka he was in a foul mood but no one knew why. No one except the four teens sitting before him. Miya on the other hand had no idea why Killua was staring at her so coldly****—****his stare colder than ice without a hint of his usual playfulness lurking in their depths****—****his grip on his manga novel so tight that she thought he might rip the thing apart if he kept holding it so tightly.**

**"You guys can go if you want to but I wouldn't want to be seen with this crazy cat girl. Not to mention that she's a flat-chested tomboy."****He said harshly not once missing the shocked and hurt look in the young redhead's eyes. Akira snorted in boredom as he watched Miya's eyes turn blood-red in anger and much like Killua had stated a pair of reddish-brown cat ears with black stripes appeared on top of Miya's head. Her rage was evident and everyone knew who it was targeted it and they all sighed, no doubt thinking to themselves "Not again.", while waiting for the obvious fight to commence between the two teens at the back of the classroom.**

**"YOU JERK. I HAVE A NAME AND IT'S MIYA. M—I—Y—A! LEARN HOW TO SPELL YOU JACKASS! AND ANOTHER THING MY NAME'S NOT CRAZY CAT GIRL! BESIDES YOU'D BE THE LAST PERSON I'D EVER SHOW MY BREASTS TO YOU BAKA!"****She shouts at Killua angrily, trying to hold back her tears which didn't go unnoticed by the five teens in front of her. Killua wanted to punch himself in the face for hurting her like he did but he'd known that it had been the only way to get everyone to stop looking at him like he was a circus freak or something.**

**"Come on Killua. I mean it's not too late to say yes." ****Kenshin, the ever calm one in the gang offered softly, trying to convince his best friend to join them for the day as well as soothe Miya's roaring temperament.**

**Killua looked at Kenshin out of the corner of his eye****—****silently telling him to shut up, ****all the while staring Miya****—****secretly marveled by her beauty and loving nature even when she was angry, which was the exact opposite of his aggressive and mischievous attitude. Indeed she was an idiot. ****_Getting mad over false words that she should know are all lies. Truly an idiot…but nonetheless an idiot with a hot body…got damn it! What the hell am I thinking? Just because she has the figure of a woman now doesn't give me the right to think of her like that. But…then again let's face it, she's hot as hell…no pun intended. _****Killua told himself while trying to hold back the perverted grin making its way across his lips as he continues to stare at Miya, keeping his desire for her hidden but assuming his usual cold nature.**

**Akira saw the grin about to make its way to Killua's face before he stopped himself and the shorter boy almost found himself smirking**** at the notation of his friend's obvious lust for the redhead he was currently glaring at but he kept his face blank so the spotlight wouldn't transfer to him instead of Killua. To be honest, he could've cared less if the silver-haired boy wanted to go with them or not but he knew that Miya had obvious feelings for said spiky haired teen and that was his only reason for attempting to persuade him to go. Yup only for Miya's sake but it was also because he was tired of the two not admitting their feelings for one another and he simply wanted things to stop being so damn awkward between them.**

**"Hey dumbass, are you sure you don't wanna go? Last chance."****He said in a bored tone, his eyes shifting between Miya and Killua as he spoke. For a faint moment, a glimmer of hope shined in Miya's eyes, her cat ears disappeared and her temper simmered as she stared at Killua, hoping that he wouldn't decline Akira's offer even though no one had asked him to help out.**

**Unfortunately, her hope was all for nothing as Killua responded in an annoyed tone almost as if he was ready to punch all four of his friends in the face for continuing to butt in even after he'd told them no. ****"Yes I'm sure I don't want to go and the next asshole that asks me gets a punch in the face, now fuck off!"**

**In response to his words, Miya's anger resurged and she said angrily while heading towards the classroom door, her eyes still blazing bright crimson red and her body shaking with barely contained fury. ****"Let's go you guys. It's obvious that he doesn't need us here."**

**A good majority of the class gulped nervously as she walked out of the room****—****her black boots clumping roughly on the cold linoleum floor in her wake****—****slamming the door roughly behind her.**

**Mizuki rolled her eyes, her thoughts mostly focused on getting out of the room before she ends up punching Killua in the face for upsetting Miya and plus she really wanted to get out of school before she died of boredom. ****"Hn I don't know about you morons but I want to change into more comfortable clothes. So let's all meet up at 3:00 in the afternoon just outside the bus stop." ****Mizuki asks her friends with false excitement laced in her voice. She sat on top of Akira's desk, her tiny fingers playing with the short strands of Akira's hair while she waited for the last three members of their group to give some kind of answer. ****Akira in turn had laid his head on Mizuki's lap, enjoying the feel of her fingers raking through his hair but he still appeared to be bored as usual.**

**"That's fine with me. I'm gonna go check on Miya." ****Kaoru replied softly as she sighed, knowing her best friend was highly upset right now and needed some time to cool off. So with a shrug of her shoulders****—****the short-sleeved shirt hugging her torso****—****she bowed politely to her friends and then walked out of the room, hoping to catch up with Miya before the young woman ended up unleashing her anger out on someone who didn't deserve it.**

**"Well see you guys around three." ****Kenshin said quietly as he waved at his friends, a frown slowly making its way across his face as he exited the room without saying another word. A few minutes and several of their fellow classmates leaving the classroom later****—****no doubt heading towards their own rooms for the day****—****Mizuki and Akira****—****their left and right hands intertwined****—****both sighed as they watched Kenshin leave, knowing he wasn't happy with how things had turned out, got ready to leave as well.**

**Taking one last glance at the still sitting silver-haired boy**—**wishing the idiot in question would just get off his high horse and tell Miya how he felt about her but it was useless to convince him to do so. Killua was stubborn and because of his stubbornness, he believed that he didn't deserve love even though everyone knew he at least had a crush on the tomboyish redhead even if she didn't know it herself. Seeing that their friend wouldn't say a word to them more about the matter, Mizuki and Akira also left the room, leaving Killua completely alone.******

**Killua finally put his manga novel down and after making sure he was alone in the room, he looked down at his pants**—**the cotton fabric stretching almost painfully around the area of his lower torso**—**where a huge bulge strained against him. Killua's naturally slightly pale complexion turned nearly cream white as he continued to stare down at his obvious erection and he groaned in annoyance. **Thank god she didn't see this. Ugh thank u hormones for once again fucking up my life.****Killua mentally scolded himself, hating the fact that his hormones had nearly gotten the better of him.****************

**"Got damn urges**…**they almost took control of me." **He softly whispered to no one in particular as he ran out of the deserted classroom and headed to his room to change not only his clothes but also to attempt to get rid of the raging thoughts in his mind. After having changed out his school uniform****and into a short-sleeved white shirt and black shorts, he then threw himself on his bed, hoping to short out his thoughts. **Yet as he laid down on his four-poster king-size waterbed, he realized with mild irritation that it merely aroused him even more.****The feel of silk and cotton did nothing to soothe his thoughts but merely intensified them to near insanity.******************

**_"If she was here in my room right now...dear god those annoying clothes would be off her faster than she could blink. And once I had her on my bed**_…**_I'd make her beg and plead for me to fuck her harder. Ugh what the hell is wrong with me? I mean being horny is one thing but this is completely unnecessary. Got damn it why does it have to be her? Why in the past four years has she grown from such a tomboyish pain in the ass that always got on my case about not coming to school etc. to such a**_…**_such a mature, calm, and beautiful young woman? I mean don't get me wrong, Miya's always been calm-minded but still…UGH FUCK IT ARGUING WITH MYSELF ABOUT THIS ISN'T GOING TO HELP ME! DAMN HER FOR CAUSING ME TO FEEL THIS WAY!_**_**_**_**_********** Killua thinks to himself in frustration as he thrashed around on his bed, hating the realization of his inner lust for his classmate and long-time crush.************

**As if sensing his growing temperament**—**or just plain luck**—**a sudden and unexpected noise resounds in his ears. Confused by this unknown noise Killua sat up from his resting place on his bed and looked towards his door, the soft sound of someone tapping on the mahogany wood rousing him from his thoughts. **_Who in their right mind would come to my room in the middle of the day or the better question is do they have a death wish by doing so?_****Killua contemplated as he headed towards his bedroom door, ready to punch or yell at whoever had disturbed him in the middle of the day for no reason. However as he opened the door, the sight before him left him speechless**—**his eyes nearly popping out his head in shock**—**********************as he stared at the beautiful girl standing in front of him.************************

**Dressed in a simple dark-green tank top that showed off her smooth shoulders and arms and her normal black capris, Miya pulled off a look that was both elegant and casual as she stood before the young assassin with a warm yet shy smile on her face. Killua blushed as his eyes skimmed over how well the outfit showcased Miya's body**—**the clothes not leaving an inch of her sun-kissed skin overlooked by his wandering gaze. Indeed she looked hot**—**the tank top showing just a small portion of the top of her breasts but without making them spill out while her capris showed just enough of her legs and ankles to leave him wanting to see more. Basically the outfit wasn't too revealing nor too conservative. It was just right. But the main question that plagued Killua's mind was: how could such simple clothing bring out the woman in her and the beast in him**—**a beast that wanted nothing more than to tackle her and take her right then and there? **************

**Nervous beyond all notation but refusing to show it nor explain the reason for his nervousness, Killua tried his best to maintain his usual uncaring composure as well as hide**—**with extreme difficulty**—**the bulge in his pants from letting Miya see it, he quickly placed his manga novel over his pants and gave her a death glare. The young girl**—**not knowing that it was fake and that he actually wanted to do nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and run his hands through that soft, curly wavy reddish-brown hair of hers all day long**—**simply stared at him in confusion.******************

**"What the hell do you want now, baka? Can't you see I'm busy?" **He replies in a cold tone**—**hard**** and icy dark-blue staring daggers into soft and mellow earthy-brown**—**as he glared down at the young woman before him. ****************

**Miya blushed as she stared back into Killua's cold eyes. Yet as her brain finally registered that he had just asked her a question**—**her slightly pink cheeks turning a bright red from embarrassment**—**as she realized Killua had noticed her blushing, which only further served to embarrass her even more.** "I**...**I just…Look I told you before Killua-kun, I'm not an idiot. And I wanted to know if you were serious about not coming with us to Remington Central?" **She states shyly, trying to hide the stutter in her tone but she knew it was impossible. As she pouted, she couldn't help but notice that Killua was looking at her in an almost lust-filled manner but believing she was just imagining it, Miya dismissed the look altogether.******************

**Killua of course had noticed the stutter in Miya's voice and he found it cute and reveled in the power he had over her. But he of course, refused to let it show on his face. **"You just what?" **He said with a mischievous lilt in his tone while keeping his eyes cold and effortlessly holding back his urge to smirk at her as he leaned towards her but only by a few inches so as not to make her_ too _uncomfortable.******

**Think about it Killua, she's willing to give you another chance. Just say yes just this once and then you won't have to say it ever again.** Killua tries to persuade himself all the while trying to keep his eyes from displaying his embarrassment. But he couldn't get rid of the sense of faint anger temporarily washed over him as he realized she had noticed the lustful way he had been looking at her and he made a mental note to himself to be more careful when it came to keep his feelings for her under control.****

**"Well?" **He questioned darkly as he raised an eyebrow and leaned a little bit closer to her.****

**Miya's already reddened face turned nearly as red as her hair as she watched Killua lean towards her not once but twice, confusing her but also forcing her thoughts to lock up in her head with no hope of escaping their prison.**

**"I just don't think that you really have anything important to do that's all." **She replies in that same uncomfortably shy tone she'd used earlier, her heart pounding heavily in her chest as she struggled to breathe under Killua's strong and intense gaze, hating the effect he had on her.****

**Killua wasn't buying Miya's words but he decided that he had teased her enough and reluctantly pulled away from her**—**his head resting against the wooden doorway that led to his room as he gave her a lazy look, his eyes half closed with one arm resting at his side. **"Do you really want me to go with you?" **He asked her in an almost bored tone.**********

**Miya sighed but smiled at him warmly, knowing that despite Killua's coldness towards her, he actually was a kind-hearted guy deep inside.** "Of course I do**…**" **She paused to push a few loose strands of her hair from her eyes so she could look at Killua clearly**—**secretly hating the fact that he towered over her at 5'8 in height, forcing her to crane her neck so she look up at him.**************

**"I mean you're always copped up in your room and it isn't healthy so**…**so you should try to get out more. That's all." **She said softly while playing with the ends of her left ponytail, her eyes trying to look anywhere but at the young man in front of her. But it was pointless and her body wouldn't obey her since she found herself continuing to stare at him.********

**Killua held back his urge to blush as he watched Miya played with the end of her hair, finding****the simple gesture extremely cute and oddly enough kinda hot. **"Fine. But only because you asked."** He let out with a faint huff, his eyes trailing up and down Miya's body not the least bit offended by the view before him at all.**********

**Slightly taken aback by Killua's answer**—**and unsure why she did it, only knowing that it was appropriate at the moment**—**Miya found herself suddenly throwing her arms around Killua's neck, completely unaware that her smaller, almost fragile-looking body was pressing a little too closely to the young assassin's more muscular frame. Killua froze the minute he felt Miya wrap her arms around him, his body was completely paralyzed as he stood there with the shorter teenager pressed against him in a friendly embrace. Well to her it might've seemed that way but to him**…**that was a totally different story. **_Why the hell is she hugging me? And why can't I pull away from her? Oh damn I can feel her breasts pressing against my stomach. I really hope she's wearing a bra. Ugh Killua you idiot, of course she's wearing a bra. This is Miya Hirayuki we're talking about not some street tramp. But got damn her breasts are so soft and her legs feel so good against my thighs. Must fuck her. Ugh why does it have to her?_ **Killua thought to himself lustfully as he stared at Miya while she continued to hug him, not once realizing how much torment she was causing the usually antisocial young man.******************

**Unfamiliar with the show of affection his longtime crush was displaying for him, Killua could feel his heart pounding violently in his chest as well as sense that his self-control was slipping at alarming rate. Panic started to consume him as he slowly felt his hands reach out to embrace the young woman still hugging him. **"I CHANGED MY MIND!" **Killua finds himself shouting out loud as he pushed her away from him**—**her body being pushed a few inches away from Killua's, her balance only slightly disoriented when Killua pushed her.**********

**Hurt and confused beyond all words, Miya could only stare at Killua in bewilderment, clearly unsure as to why he had refused her offer twice now. **"But why Killua? You finally said yes for a change. What did I do wrong?"** She asked him sadly, her eyes focused on him which such intensity that Killua nearly gave into his urges to hug her and tell her how sorry he was.******

**But thankfully he stopped himself from doing so and instead went back to his earlier cold demeanor, all the well knowing how much he'd hurt her. And further more making him loathe himself for it as he forced himself to give her a blank stare, his eyes deprived of life as usual. **"For one you're not my mother even though I don't give a damn what she says anyway. Secondly you're sure as hell aren't my doctor so stop acting like you care about me okay? Anyway, I'm tired so see ya later Miya."** And with that he closed the door in Miya's face, leaving the young woman just standing there with a confused and hurt look on her face.******

**Frustrated and emotionally wounded by his words, Miya could only stand there in front of Killua's bedroom with a puzzled look on her face, furious tears spilling down her cheeks as she ran down the hallway, hating the fact that Killua would never just open up to her even after all they'd been through together.****_What came over him so suddenly? I mean what did I do wrong? Why did things have to turn out this way?_ **Miya thought to herself sadly while heading to the bus stop to hang out with her friends and hopefully get her mind of a certain silver-haired boy. Of course if it was possible.********

**Back in his room, once Killua was sure that Miya was gone, he threw himself back on his bed, the bulge in his pants throbbing painfully in his shorts. He tossed and turned in sexual hunger, knowing that he needed to be satisfied but the object of his desire wasn't in the room with him and not mention he was pretty sure he'd heard her crying as she ran down the hallway, probably heading off to be with the rest of their friends and yell at angry she was at him.**_ His fault. It was all his fault._** He was sure of it and it caused a sharp blade of loathing to stab him in the chest while he burning need for Miya only increased the more he thought of her.******

**"I need her. I need every single part of her. Ugh I swear if I don't this shit under control I'm going to lose it and end up tackling her in class or something." **Killua mumbled to himself as he slowly unzipped his pants while his entire body flushed with heat as he blushed several shades of red at the thought of what he was about to do and of course he would be thinking about as he performed the ordeal. ****

**~Flashback End~**

**My eyes snap open as the memory slowly begins to fade and I once again groan in frustration at my thoughts. "Damn these perverted thoughts…damn these hormones. Why can't they just leave me alone? Ugh Igotta try to get some sleep." I mumble sleepily as I try to shut my eyes and force myself to go sleep, hoping my dreams created from my inner lust for **her** won't continue to bother me.******

**Stay tuned for another sweet dream or maybe a dark nightmare.**

**(Author's Notes: Here's the rest of the storyline: _**Love can be the sweetest of pleasures or the deadliest of sins. Killua Zoldyck has been in love with fellow classmate Miya Hirayuki ever since they were twelve years old but has never told her of his feelings unaware that she feels the same. Can you even be allowed to love, especially when you're born into a family of killers?**_ Stay tuned for another sweet dream or maybe a dark nightmare.)**


	2. Author's note

**_I just wanted to apologize for the late update._**

**_Short explanation: My uncle recently passed away so I haven't been myself lately and of course my laptop went to pot meaning the LCD monitor broke so I have to get a job to fix it and so I'm using my dad's laptop until I can get both my laptop and netbook fixed (don't ask about the netbook please) plus other personal issues. Also I've been being in and out of the hospital much like my good friend Frost190. So basically things haven't been too well for me lately (half parents fault, half self-doubt and depression among other things). I haven't been in a writing mood so that's why you haven't heard from me since I first began MPYP and I've very sorry for that. _**

**_Please pray or what you will for me. Also while I was writing this note I was actually listening to the Vampire Knight soundtrack and was actually thinking of writing different KHR, Hunter x Hunter, or VK stories instead of this one but I wanna focus on one project at a time and I'm very sorry I've been neglecting this one. Ugh I can hear Killua yelling at me. SHUT UP KILLUA OR ELSE NO COOKIES FOR U! LOL! Anyway I want to say thank you to everyone that has reviewed both of my stories here and who has waited patiently for me to come back from the depths of oblivion._**

**_Lol seriously! I've been gone a long time. I'm sorry I've been so long. But I hope you guys will forgive me for being away for so long. Oh and sorry about the slight sexual content in the next chappy it's not too heavy. Just Killua being slightly perverted. Also as far as me updating my other story My Past, Your Present, it will take a while for me to update it because I'm rewriting it. I'm probably going to do the same thing to this one too but I haven't decided yet though. So if you have any ideas that can help my stories better just let me know and I am taking requests on ideas or suggestions as well as questions on my two stories here on FF okay. But no spoilers okay. _**


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